At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
