You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
