he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
