So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
