hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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