No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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