You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
