I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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