so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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