Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
