By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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