Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize