my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
