just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
