Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
whose parrot is this?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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