Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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