Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
