For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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