is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
