i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
