You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
