But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
