I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
