I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
