Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
