i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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