He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
