i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
