32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did i walk over a car last night?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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