Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
