Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
