My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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