Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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