Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
where am i from again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
