I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
