based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
