How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
