Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
