I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
