Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
