Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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