I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize