the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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