oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
