I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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