Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize