She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
