He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
