A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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