Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize