he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
