i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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