I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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