I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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