covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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