why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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