Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
this just has baby written all over it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
