I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
