Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
