Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
