My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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