you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
