No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
