During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
