I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
