If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
